Archive for January, 2012

Walking under water

This morning I did some honest soul searching. At first it feels a little bit like standing on the shore of a cold ocean, letting the water freeze your feet as you consider going in completely. You hold your breath and prepare yourself (though you know it’s pointless) before abandoning yourself to the ocean. The rush of the first wave absorbs your mass like a grain of sand. Suddenly you remember your insignificance. Who you really are is called into question. You are challenged. Intimidated. You flail frantically (though you mean to swim) through the dark icy waters to regain some sense of strength. You wonder how deep you can go and stay safe. For one thing, the open seas are not tame. They seem to descend infinitely into a universe of mystery. Maybe you could fall forever without even being detected. After reaching dry land again, you decide that however hard walking on water is, walking under it takes just as much faith. Though your strength and sanity have been tested, you’re always glad you went in and you come out deeply refreshed. This morning, I dove into the ocean of my soul, and I’ve come out feeling cleansed.

Now that you’re standing at the edge of the ocean. I would love to be the friend who takes your hand and pulls you in and helps you swim. Well, figuratively at least! I used these questions…

What are the difficulties in your life?

What situations make you upset or angry?

What situations make you depressed?

What situations make you anxious?

Why do they make you feel these things?

It was helpful for me to follow a few steps in answering these:

1. Honestly consider and answer each question
2. Ask “Why?” after each question
Here are some possible explanations that helped me:
“Because I have unrealistic expectations of myself or of people”
“Because I am expecting something from God that he has not promised to give”
“Because I am trying to control things outside of human control”
3. Apologize to God wherever you’re responsible for a negative attitude/response
4. Accept forgiveness based on how Jesus specifically became responsible for you
5. Ask him to help you through negative emotions based on truth

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I just categorized this entry as “January 2012” and it hit me all over again that it’s 2012!!! Hard to believe! If 2011 was as hard of a year for you as it was for me, then I’m sure you’re jumping up and down about it too.. 🙂

One thing that has helped me to cope through the hard seasons of 2011 has been writing these entries and getting great feedback from readers. So really guys, thank you.

Part of celebrating the new year for me meant recording a new song. Even if I’m in the darkest time there’s one thing that will never fail to bring me hope again, and that is the thought of heaven. That was my inspiration for this song. It’s called Brilliant Light and I’ve added lyrics. Hope you enjoy it 🙂

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