Archive for January, 2013

Alone with you

God wills that we should push into his presence and live our whole life there.
A.W. Tozer

We live in a world with 7 billion people, and yet to some certain degree we all go through life alone. Our journey is our own. It is incredible to find a few to share your soul with, to think out loud with, to simply be with. But even after the nights where there’s no such thing as time, after you’ve shared laughter and tears, words and silence, hopes and fears, morning comes. And overnight, even while you are both asleep, distance happens.

We would love to live all of life together, to be there for each other and catch every fall, but the reality is, we are not. We are limited. Our presence is mostly limited to our being together.

footprintsWhen I share myself with my friends I like to be face to face, present with them. When I share myself with God I would obviously prefer being face to face, but until then I like to write or sing to him. I didn’t realize how uniquely comfortable I was writing to God until a close friend who I’d share anything with asked me a personal question over email. I sat down to write, but nothing happened. I couldn’t just bear my soul and push “send” all while she was entirely somewhere else. I needed her presence. I’m starting to think half of friendship is conversation, and the other half is being present. And what I realized is how truly God, and God alone, is ever present. While I write to him, he responds. He’s responding to me in this moment. He is ever present.

I have struggled with the fact that the Lover of my soul, my best friend in the world, is invisible. We are always together, yet no one sees him walk into the room with me. I can’t hug him. We don’t have audible conversations. And then I remember the words he said, “Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.”

And now he is my ever present Helper. He hears what I haven’t said yet, what I can’t articulate. My inmost being is not a mystery to him. He searches the depths of my heart. He experiences every season of my soul. I am known, understood, and loved, completely and perfectly. Every moment, he is present with me. And the time we share, words can’t convey how sweet, and how deep.

Nothing gives the believer so much joy as fellowship with Christ. He has enjoyment as others have in the common mercies of life, he can be glad both in God’s gifts and God’s works; but in all these separately, yea, and in all of them added together, he does not find such substantial delight as in the matchless person of his Lord Jesus Christ. (Spurgeon)

No matter how many friends we have, they cannot make up for Jesus. There is a loneliness in our existence only he can befriend. There is a depth only he can reach, a need he alone can meet, a brokenness only he can mend. There is a constancy, a faithfulness, a loyalty in his presence, which no other can attempt. There is a friendship no other could promise. There is an intimacy we will never know, unless experienced with him alone.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

Psalm 139:7-8

The godly will dwell in your presence…
You hide them in the secret place of your presence…
In your presence there is fullness of joy.

Psalm 140:13; 31:20; 16:11

Read Full Post »