Archive for July, 2013

We don’t do this. We don’t meet for coffee and smile politely while our hearts break quietly. We don’t look at the time, as if we have somewhere better to be. We don’t run out of things to say, or get uncomfortable with the silence, or resort to nervous tics. Or at least.. until now we didn’t.

I used to take sunsets personally, like he painted the sky just for me. I used to cry while he kissed my face. Now the tears have left no trace. I used to walk down the street smiling about him. I used to pass strangers like I knew the secret to life, convinced… If only they would stop to ask me what it is, they would run to him for their lives and never look back. I used to close my eyes on the plane, on the train, on the bus, enjoying our sweetest love. I would sing like he was listening. I would sway like we were dancing.

Oh God, what have we become? The couple sitting across the table from each other, arms crossed and hearts locked, having found a lover yet lost the wonder? You know I haven’t forgotten. It’s the memories leaving me lonely. Oh, how dearly I must be reminded that you remember me tenderly.

Maybe you can meet the crowds for coffee, but not me, please not me. I am in too deep. Do you remember me? My name is graven on your hands. Do you still miss my fragrance? Are my shoes still on your doorstep? Is my journal still by your bed? Tell me you haven’t forgotten, my Love, to remember me tenderly.


You know me past my pretense. If you leave me, you’ll leave me too broken to fix. Will you run to me through this wilderness? Will you take hold of my hand? I will come home to you again, if only you’ll take me in. I will say yes without hesitation, if only you’ll ask me to dance. We’ll sway back and forth on your floor like before. Our love will be precious once more.

To be wrapped in each other’s presence is the closest I’ve been to heaven. All I want in life and in death is to lay my head on your chest, to be known as your beloved. Would you sing again, so my soul can rest, and hold me til dawn like you did?

I remember the words you prayed before you went away, “that she would be with me where I am…” Oh, to be with you where you are… Show me the way and I will walk in it. Keep your promise so that I may live. You said you’d come again. You promised. And I will hold you to it.

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